Even as Melody unveiled her new blog, Wrapped Emotions, this morning, something in her first article jumped off the page at me.
"Seems many of our emotions are linked to wrappers, packages, bindings...whether tangible or metaphoric. Think of the candy bars and bags of chips consumed during the depression of a broken relationship...the ice cream consumed on a day when the kids pushed every button...the three martini happy hour after the boss got in your face just one more time. Foods and drinks come with wrappers, in packages and containers (yes, that vodka comes in a container). Can you remember your emotions while in the throes of consumptions similar to those above?"
You see, last year I had a very successful time losing weight and getting healthier. Lately, though, a few of the pounds have crept back on while I wasn't paying attention. Those sneaky pounds! It's not the pounds that bother me, though, it's the "why" that I need to confront.
In the rush to get ready for the school year, move to our newly built house, start teaching again, and some underlying anxiety that I can't pinpoint, I have begun comforting myself with food again. I do not have a sweet tooth, yet the chocolate and cookies have been calling my name. I pick unhealthy choices at restaurants simply because I want to, and you can't tell me no! (speaking to my more sensible side) The only problem is that it doesn't really comfort, and only makes it worse.
I leave the emotions wrapped up in self-protection while I continually unwrap things that will not restore my soul!
I know the One who will restore my peace, my comfort, but why will I not bring these emotions to Him? Because then, I will have to feel them. If I want God to heal those places, I will have to expose, unwrap them and actually see them. I must acknowledge I am not perfect.
Those seven sneaky pounds really represent the tender places in which I have stored up stress, hurt, anxiety. I am committing to unwrap those places, to acknowledge and feel those emotions. And that's not enough. I need to hand over the contents to the Lover of My Soul, who will separate them "as far as the east is to the west."
Will you join me?
1 O LORD, you have searched meI've submitted this to TopBlogMag for their weekly theme, "on my mind." Click the link to see what's on others' minds this week. It's also at the All Women Blogging Carnival at She Writes Like She Talks
and you know me.2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
9 ~POST A COMMENT!:
I LOVE this! Ok, not just because you linked to my new blog (and I thank you endlessly), but because you have eloquently discussed an emotional issue with which all women deal. Food and the way we let our emotions become perpetually linked to it rather than simply "feel" the emotion...rather than feel it, give it to God and let it go. Thank you for this post.
You so get what I'm up to, don't you?
I have noticed the same thing as I've been losing weight. I'm learning that sin is really just refusing to get my fulfillment from God, and seeking fulfillment in other things (like food). John Piper likens it to standing in a desert in front of an endless fountain of perfect water. We are terribly thirsty, but instead of drinking from the fountain we turn a lick the sand and dirt and act like it's the most refreshing thing we've ever tasted.
It's really silly when you think about it, but we do it anyway. If I would take my stress, fear, etc to God instead of to Little Debbie then I'd be lean, mean and sexy right now!
This is a great post. It reaffirms what God has been speaking into my heart lately. I've been reading a book called 'Thin Again' that talks about the same exact thing. Blessings to you. :)
Oh and I love your header by the way. Beautiful.
Sarah - This is a wonderful post! Thanks for the reminder that it is God we need to look to for strength, healing and affirmation.
I agree with you that we don't want to confront our feelings because then we would have to FEEL them... but my question is HOW do we turn to God and let Him deal with these. It's true, but how do we do it? What's the practical way?
Ahh... The Lover Of My Soul. What a great book! I had it in my mind as you were reading (and walla! there it was in the end) a very real way the Lord reached out and shook some since in me when he was talking about the whore who kept running back to the whore house because that is where her comfort was and she didn't trust that her husband really did love her unconditionally and he was going to be her provider and protector. What a great reminder of that lesson I learned. For me it wasn't food He was talking about but it set me on a total road to recovery. God blessed my broken road. Ahhh... what a great song. OK, I've got to stop ;o)
Melody~ I've got your number!
Ben ~ Each time I try to snack my feelings away, I'm going to picture myself eating sand! That should do it!
Fam of Five~ I'll have to look for that book, thanks for metioning it.
Jaime~ That is also a great analogy
Micpro~ Thanks for the encouragement.
Jan ~ I think this will be a journey for me to figure out how to do it.
The first thing is to spend some time in prayer with my own emotions, and ask God to illuminate what He wants to deal with.
I have a feeling that participating in Melody's project will bring some things out as well.
Also, I have to recognize when I want to comfort myself with food, stop, and try to articulate it to God.
Excellent question, the answer to which I don't really know yet. Love you.
Great post! I am SOOO glad your blog is better! How did you fix it??? I am glad I can visit you again!
Blessings!
You summed up my summer, thank you for putting words, eloquent ones at that, to how I've been feeling. Next week I start a class at the Y about getting to the core of why we over eat and how to truly break free. Last year I lost weight and through bad choices and the naive desire for control I'll never have---I've gained. I'm loving your blog and the links you are giving to other blogs as well. This post touched me deeply, thank you.
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