The Mom Profiles:
- The "Don't-Stay-at-Home Mom"
- The Work-at-Home Mom
For the last 6 years, I have had the privilege of spending most of my days with my children. (Although, on any given day, I may dispute the use of the word "privilege.") I have also been blessed with the opportunity to make some money, and further myself professionally at the same time. I love teaching piano and voice lessons from home, but it can be a challenge sometimes. When people say to me, "Oh, so you have the best of both worlds!" I often think, "Well, yes, and the worst of both worlds sometimes." And often, I just don't think people "get" what a work-at-home mom does. So, I thought I'd take on the topic with some humor, and see if anyone can relate.
Voila! The Work-at-Home Mom:
- The Work-at-Home Mom (WAHM) is a peculiar creature. She is a sort of "hybrid" between the Stay-at-Home Mom and the Working Mom.
- The WAHM is a master of the multi-task. She can cook dinner, change a diaper, and settle a dispute at the same time, all while doing her "other job." The WAHM has also mastered the art of doing any given activity with a toddler gripped around her leg or hanging off of her hip.
- Many working moms unwittingly insult the WAHM by saying things like, "You're so lucky you don't have to go to a real job." Um, actually, she has two jobs. Mothering is always a full-time job, and the WAHM doesn't usually drop her kids off at day-care. Her chosen profession is a part-time job, on top of that.
- While working people are out of the house during the day, not making any messes, the WAHM is dirtying dishes, and dragging out toys, paints, playdough, and other mess-makers, while her two-year-old sometimes empties out the pajama drawer just for fun....ahem. It's not really any easier to keep the house clean, because she spends an equal amount of time messing it up!
- While the WAHM is doing her income-producing job, she may try to train her kids to go to her husband with problems or questions. In reality, this rarely works. Her husband may have the best of intentions, but is not necessarily a master of the multi-task. Thus, giving the WHAM another chance to show her superior multi-tasking skills. (Why was I tempted to write "skilz?")
- While the WAHM is grateful for time spent with the children, sometimes she's a little jealous of the working mom, who can separate her professional life and family life just a bit.
Can anyone relate? WAHMs, what is your biggest challenge?
I want to be very clear that my aim is not to say that one type of mom works any harder than another. Just to point out the different sets of joys and challenges that come with each one. And to poke a little fun at the stereotypes we moms put on each other. Every mom is wonderful in my book.
Does anyone want to write a guest profile, entitled The Working Mom or The Homeschooling mom? Email me and let me know.
I want to be very clear that my aim is not to say that one type of mom works any harder than another. Just to point out the different sets of joys and challenges that come with each one. And to poke a little fun at the stereotypes we moms put on each other. Every mom is wonderful in my book.
Does anyone want to write a guest profile, entitled The Working Mom or The Homeschooling mom? Email me and let me know.
13 ~POST A COMMENT!:
I'm a WAHM, employed by a large bank and work 30 hours per week at home. I can TOTALLY relate to this post. It's true..sometimes it's the worst of both worlds. I don't think I'd trade it for anything but it's A LOT of work.
I may be interested in doing a guest profile...
Oh, and the answer to your question..the biggest challenge...multitasking in general is hard work but it gets particularly hard when I have conference calls and I'm the only one home to watch the kids!
Yep, this is me. I am a WAHM and mother to a 4 year old and a two year old. I work anywhere from 10-30 hours a week at my income producing job. My idea of a break is going to the grocery store at 9pm all by myself.
I, too can relate to this post. Having a son at home, I go to college full-time and I am a writer. It is a lot on my plate, but I love it.
I try to manage my time, write things down, and take it day by day.
I wouldn't have it any other way :)
I can really relate to this post! I actually just quit my work-at-home job for several reasons. One major one being that I was unable to do a good job at it while watching the children. So, I'm looking for different work now.
I just told my husband the other day, "Yes, you have 2 jobs but you don't have to do them at THE SAME TIME!"
http://jendisjournal.wordpress.com
This post is scaring me! LOL I'm on my way to being a SAHD (Stay At Home Dad)
I recently quit my full time job of 7 years in the corporate world to pursue running my websites full time and so I can raise my soon to arrive baby girl.
http://www.workathomenoscams.com/2007/11/21/goodbye-9-5-hello-working-at-home-my-reason-for-thanksgiving/
Sounds like I'm going to have my plate very full. But you're giving me inspiration. Great Post! I look forward to experiencing all the things you've mentioned here except being insulted about being a SAHD.
I've already heard many jokes from
former co-workers. (Haters. lol)
Eddy Salomon
www.WorkAtHomeNoScams.com
www.WorkAtHomeCareers.com
I can totally relate to this post. I have been a stay at home mom for 12 years and just recently started working from home. It amazes me that because I am at home I do not work. I only wish I made a paycheck!
I think being a mom of any kind, whether it be WAHM SAHM or WM, means that you are overworked, underpaid, and stretched behind any level that is humanly possible. Each has it's good points and bad points. I have at different points in my been all 3 types of mom... believe me, they are all tough. Still, being a mom beats not being a mom hands down!!!
Kim @ TheBitterBall
I thought as a SAHM that I "never get a break" until I entered the work force and now I do truly feel that sitting down to read stories constitutes a break, heck even laundry is a break compared to the work I did when I was working outside my home. Having time to socialize or even grocery shop at a time other than 10 pm becomes a luxury that you see maybe once every 3 months.
I've done all 3, working outside the home, WAHM, and SAHM, and working outside the home is by *far* the most physically demanding. And no, the house is not cleaner when you work outside the home-the laundry still needs to be done, the dishes still need to be done, and the toys can get out remarkably quickly once you walk in the door. The difference is that when you work outside the home you have less time to clean-as a SAHM I can grab a handful of toys as I walk to the room where the belong, throw in a load of laundry when I remember, and the house "cleans itself" without a lot of effort. When you have been at work all day, keeping a clean house means you come home from work, play with the kids you haven't seen all day, make dinner, read stories, baths, put kids to bed, and THEN instead of reading or watching TV with your hubby you get to clean, iron, make lunches, do laundry, grocery shop, and maybe even scrub a toilet if you get that far before you collapse.
I do think being a SAHM is emotionally harder because its more isolating and less mentally stimulating.
I don't care what other people do, except for one thing that really gets my goat--I know 2 moms in real life who claim to do 3 things-daycare, homeschool, and teach private music lessons all during the same times of the day.
That is extremely unethical. Multitasking taking a home business call while loading the dishwasher, or filling out forms while waiting for kids at soccer practice. It's not getting paid to teach music & simultaneously getting paid to teach preschool to different children, while your own children muddle through their schoolwork on their own.
In my book that would be the same thing as be running a Mary Kay business while I'm on the clock at work. It's stealing from people who are paying you for your time.
So as long as you aren't double dipping-I say go for it!
I want to be very clear that my aim is not to say that one type of mom works any harder than another. Just to point out the different sets of joys and challenges that come with each one. And to poke a little fun at the stereotypes we moms put on each other. Every mom is wonderful in my book.
Great post! I too have done all three...SAHM, WM, and WAHM. To me there are different challenges with each. When I was a WAHM I felt constant guilt because I felt like I wasn't doing any of jobs particularly well. As a result, I ended up over-working myself because I would put in 40+ hours for work instead of the required 30. The mom guilt was hard too and then throw in taking care of the house..WOW. Thanks for throwing some humor in there! Good read.
I can't imagine adding more stress to my life right now...it is all I can do to raise my two little ones and handle all the various things at church I do, working would send me over the edge!
I guess in a way I'm a WAHM, because I bake and sell pumpkin rolls and do my Avon thing. But I don't think I could handle a corporate WAH type job. When making pumpkin rolls or sorting out Avon stuff I can interact with the kids at the same time, I don't think that's be possible if I were doing accounting or some-such.
I'd love to read about a day in the life of a homeschooling mom, as I'm about to be one.
I am a work at home Mom of four boys. We are also in process of an international adoption. I really enjoyed this post. Between household duties, child rearing, school volunteering, and what you do to help with income it can so fill your plate. But I would not want any other plate!
Michelle
www.sendoutcards.com/31999
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