I have been meaning to write this post for a long time! Every time I get my Reader’s Digest in the mail, I am amused, (and slightly alarmed) at the headlines on the cover. It seems that in the absence of Readers’ Digest to save us, we are all on the brink of utter ruin! Personally, I am thankful to Readers’ Digest for single-handedly saving humanity as we know it.
Here are some of the more important headlines from them. Apparently there are a LOT of juicy secrets being kept by the “establishment!” And 13 is a very secretive number!
13 Things Your Plumber Wont’ Tell You
For Example, “I’m not a babysitter, mover or mechanic. Don’t ask.” uh… OK, I’ll remember that.
15 Secrets the Emergency Room Staff Won’t Tell You
“Waiting is good, it means you’re not going to die.” Well, idn’t that speeecial?
13 Things Your Tax Accountant Won’t Tell You
“Make it a priority to keep good personal financial records.” I’m so glad RD exposed this ground breaking information!
20 Secrets Your Waiter Won’t Tell You
“Even at the best breakfast buffet in the world, 99 times out of 100, the big pan of scrambled eggs is made from a powder.” OK, that is kinda gross.
13 Things Your Shoe Salesman Won’t Tell You
“I’ve spent 30 minutes with you, and then you tell me you need your wife’s approval? News flash: She doesn’t need yours. Next time, bring her along.” Well, actually, Mr. Shoe Salesman, that’s our way of saying we don’t like your shoes, but we don’t want to hurt your feelings.
13 Things Your Child’s Teacher Won’t Tell You
“When I hear a loud belch, I remember that a student’s manners are a reflection of his parents’.” OUCH!
And then, there are the articles that go into the category of “ew”
Can You Spot the BedBug?
um… NO! And quit grossing me out!
And of course the category of “duh”
5 Helpful Tips for Tax Time
“1. Make no mistake” Well, OK, then, thanks for that tip.
And last but certainly not least, I have to give a shout out to the ONE, single Readers’ Digest article that has saved my life on numerous occasions
13 Essential Steps to Survive an Alien Invasion
You may laugh, but I’m still alive, aren’t I?
And now I’m hoping you’ll help me with my next submission to Reader’s Digest: 13 Secrets Moms Won’t Tell You! Would you leave one in the comments? You might be featured in Reader’s Digest. OK, who am I fooling? They’re probably not going to accept it since I just poked harmless fun at their Magazine, but we can hope!
In all actuality, I do love Reader’s Digest. The jokes always make me laugh, and I usually learn something new, however obscure it might be!
After you leave a comment, go Check out OhAmanda’s Top Ten Tuesday! She has an awesome article on 10 Things You Can Do Make a Blogger Happy