At first I thought I looked old in this photo…

Sarah Pinnix Headshot

But then, I realized it was something else. As I looked at it, I could hear myself say:

“I know some things that you young women have yet to learn. See those wrinkles between my eyes? I earned those.”

I don’t say that to be snooty, but as an encouragement.

You see, when I was in college, I used to look at the women in their thirties and think they had it all together.  When I got to be their age, married with children, and all “grown up” in the Lord, I might have it all together too.  Then, as I began my thirties… ahem, 7.5 years ago… I wondered why I still felt like a floundering child?

And then, I took this photo. From my phone. In a car on the way to a wedding. And when I looked at it for the first time, I was taken aback. I immediately saw the two squinty wrinkles between my eyes, the uneven skin (BEFORE Instagram), laugh lines beside my mouth, dark circles under my eyes.  And then… “What IS it in those eyes?” I asked myself.  And I couldn’t help but stare at it. It seems vain, I know, to stare at a photo of myself incessantly.

24 hours later, I know what it is. It’s the beginnings of wisdom. Not of my own doing; inside, I am still a floundering child. But through the trials of life, God has begun to let me glimpse His glory, His faithfulness, His love for me.

After 37 years, I realize I will never “have it together” on my own. And I’m OK with that.  I’m just on the other side of one of the most difficult years of my life. Although during the depth of the pain, I didn’t know how I would get through to the other side, God knew. My faith was built. It doesn’t mean I won’t fight depression the next time pain comes. But I’ll know- a little bit more- that God will bring me through.

When I look at that photo, I’m proud of whom I’ve become. Whom God has made me. Of what I’ve accomplished, and what He has accomplished through me.

The next time I flounder, I want to look back at the woman in this photo. She’ll say to me,

“Remember what you know. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. You will be OK.”

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding ; For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding ; If you seek her as silver And search for her as for hidden treasures ; Then you will discern the fear of the LORD And discover the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom ; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2: 1-7

About Sarah Pinnix

I'm a mom, blogger, vlogger, libertarian. I love Jesus, and my husband, too. Social Media Strategist for a Non-Profit (All statements here are solely my own)

Comments

  1. I love this and I am SO glad you posted it. It’s a beautiful photo.

    [Reply]

  2. Sarah
    Twitter: reallifesarah
    says:

    Thanks Andrea! I was just lurking on your blog today. 🙂 I adore you!

    [Reply]

  3. Sarah
    Twitter: reallifesarah
    says:

    Know what’s funny? The Google text ads on this post are

    Women of God, God, Wrinkle Cream, Eye Skin Tags

    Oh, the juxtaposition!

    [Reply]

  4. You, my friend, are beautiful and wise. Even wiser to see what is there and to whom to send the thanks.

    I love you!

    [Reply]

  5. Shanna
    Twitter: WindowSeatBooks
    says:

    I love this! I ditto Jenn’s comment! 🙂

    [Reply]

  6. Oh I love this post Sarah!! You ARE beautiful – inside and out. The trials of life that bring about wisdom and the knowledge that you are a child of God brings a deeper beauty. Hugs! 🙂

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  7. One word ~ LOVE! =)

    [Reply]

  8. becky
    Twitter: beckyjwebb
    says:

    Love this pic and I love the heart behind the pic. I love your outlook. I might go back to this post when I get irritated with the wrinkles under my eyes and my gray hairs. You are a blessing friend

    [Reply]

  9. Amen to that. You actually look really great. You have the look of contentment and happiness. I am glad that you are satisfied and proud of what you have become. We may have wrinkles as time passes but our experience and wisdom grows as well.

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  10. That’s beautiful. I think you can definitely see the strength and wisdom of a person’s character through their eyes especially if they’re able to look into your own eyes which I think you do.

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  11. What an insightful post. Thanks!

    [Reply]

  12. Really a beautifully written post. It has inspired me to look at like with the same outlook. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    [Reply]

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