As soon as she went back to school and told her friends about the iPod, she came to me asking if she could sign up for Instagram. Now, I am on Instagram and I love it, but thinking about my daughter being on Instagram… I’m not so sure. Apparently, everyone else has an Instagram account. I immediately said no, because I honestly hadn’t thought about it before.

What will you do when your child asks you if they can have Instagram, email, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat? “What is Snapchat?” you say. Oh boy, you need to know about Snapchat before your child gets a smart phone. I ended up letting my daughter sign up for Instagram and talked with her about the issues involved,  including turning off the “Photo Map” and making her profile private.

The thing is, there are so many things to think about when kids are online. By the time I finish writing this review, another app or network will be created with the goal of getting kids’ and teens’ attention.

Raising Digital Families For Dummies, by Amy Lupold Bair

I didn’t think I was a dummy. But this book is such a valuable  resource and brings up so many items to consider, that I now realize I WAS a dummy before reading it. This book will serve as a reference book that you can go back to when your children reach each milestone in their digital lives.

But, won’t this book be obsolete as social networks change?

The genius of Amy’s approach is that she addresses overarching themes as well as specifics. The most valuable chapter for me right now is Chapter 2: Creating a Digital Family Policy. I am just on the cusp of having fully digital teens, and I don’t want to be caught off guard again when my kids come to me. Some of the topics that apply regardless of platform are:

• Your Digital family policy
• Safety tools for kids and parents
• Online, email and phone etiquette
• Gaming
• Chats
• Search engine safety
• Cyberbullying
• Blogging
• And more!

Do you know how to check where your child has been online? Is your child making in-app purchases? Are there geo-tags on her photos without her knowledge? If so, a predator can figure out her routines quite easily just by looking at the photos’ metadata.

As parents, we all want to protect our kids. With Raising Digital Families for Dummies, Amy Lupold Bair helps bring our kids into the discussion. Instead of feeling trapped and controlled, your kids will feel like a part of the process of insuring they are good digital citizens. If you and your kids understand the pitfalls, there is less of a chance you’ll fall into them.

I must disclose that Amy is a friend of mine, and one that I would trust with my life… and even my children’s lives. You won’t regret making this book a part of your home library. And while you’re at it, get one for your school library, PTO, or community library. It benefits your own child if everyone else’s children behave well online, right?

Purchase Raising Digital Families For Dummies at Dummies.com or Amazon.

Don’t miss bonus content on Dummies.com including a resource for preventing child identity theft!  You can also connect with Raising Digital Families For Dummies on Facebook.

Click to comment on Raising Digital Families for Dummies Book Review - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

The first challenge was becoming the logistics coordinator for five very busy people. At home, I could be flexible during the day in order to make sure everyone showed up in the right place at the right time. I am now beholden to others whom I can’t really repay, my husband and friends, to help transport and supervise my kids when I can’t get to them.  My husband has always been an involved father, but those two hours after school when we’re both working are the most difficult. I think we almost have a handle on providing food for the family. I’ve been doing meal plans and prep work on Sundays and tag teaming with Judd.

I expected these changes, every working mom’s blog talks about how to navigate these areas.

I didn’t expect the loneliness I feel.

Oh, I’m having a great time professionally, working with a team of people – I really missed that camaraderie being self-employed at home. But with working full-time I’ve lost the time to invest in relationships outside of work. I deeply miss the friends I used to talk to every day, meet at the park, or eat lunch with at Chick-fil-A with the kids in the play area.  I feel guilty that I don’t call them enough, spend enough time with them, even Facebook them – because when I get home I usually don’t want to look at a computer.

Yesterday, I broke down and cried. Hard. I discovered a gathering of people I consider friends to which I was not invited. Some of those people walked out of a room I was in to go to the gathering.  I guess it didn’t cross their minds to ask if I wanted to go too.  The hurt that overwhelmed me was a complete surprise as I tried to hold in the tears that eventually streamed down my face. I’m usually not so bothered by this type of thing.

Could I have joined them? Sure. Unless I’m oblivious, they don’t NOT want me around.

Was I mad? Did I think they were purposely leaving me out? No.

I just wanted them to WANT me there. You know?

Something deep inside of me longs for the people who are home: my people. And more than anything, I’m sad that I don’t have that in the place where I spend 8-10 hours per day. I’m still searching, and asking God who else might need their “people” at work. Maybe I’m their people?

Photo by Molly Gold, gomominc.com

I do have those people who totally “get” me. The ones who really want me there and notice when I’m not. See Jenn over there with the big cookie? (Haha! She’ll kill me for using this one) The problem is that they live in my computer; they’re my blogging friends. More accurately, they live in towns and cities scattered across the country. Lots of them were together at a conference last weekend. My dear friend Jendi said she kept casually looking for me because it just felt like I should be there. I looked at their photos with love and longing. Maybe that’s why I became so sad yesterday.

I have these questions for God:

Why did you make me like this? Why does close community mean so much to me? Why am I so sensitive? I’ve been trying to develop a thicker skin, especially since entering the business world. It’s not working.

What do you want me to do with these feelings? Is there someone like me I need to be noticing?

For now, I will try to focus on being a blessing to people where I can. I’ll be a friend of Jesus and call on Him every day.

Tell me, have you ever felt this way? How did you deal with it.

Click to comment on Sometimes you just need people to care that you’re there. - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

I thought I’d write a little about the process I go through each weekend to help you start to create menus. Remember: every mom is a working mom, it’s just that some of us have less time to cook than others.

First I look through the pantry and refrigerator to make note of what I have already. I try to think of meals that can be made with those ingredients. I’m always sure to check leftovers that could be used for a different dish.

Next, take a trip to the store for the things you need for your week’s dishes. I usually go after church on Sunday. Here’ what we came up with for this week, and I didn’t even have to go to the store!

Sunday: Leftover Chicken Noodle Soup and Crusty Bread

Last week my daughter had the flu for the second time this season (ugh), so I made some homemade chicken soup at her request. (recipe here) We have tons left over, and the noodles won’t freeze well, so we ate some again tonight and I’m going to bring the rest to work tomorrow to see if anyone wants to take it home.

Monday: Honey Soy Marinated Tilapia

The kids don’t have any extracurricular activities on Monday, and this dish actually needs to be made right before you eat it. So I’ll make the marinade tonight. Tomorrow, someone can just thaw the tilapia, throw it in a baking dish with the marinade and bake. During lent, I bought a huge thing of individually wrapped frozen tilapia on sale.

Tuesday: Bowtie Pasta Bake

I needed to use up some meat sauce my husband made last week, so pasta bake it is. I threw some cooked pasta and sauce in a baking dish, topped with Mozzarella/Provolone cheese mix, and some mini-pepperoni we needed to use up. Voila

Wednesday: Slow Cooker Cheesy Chicken and Rice

We have an abundance of corn, so I Googled “Crock Pot Chicken Corn” and came acros this recipe on Southern Plate. I plopped some chicken, chopped onion and cream of mushroom soup (I didn’t have cream of chicken, but this will work just fine) in the crock post dish, and cooked some rice. On Wednesday, I’ll put the crock pot in and leave it cooking all day. My eldest daughter and I go to Youth Group that night, so my husband will mix in the corn, rice and cheese.  (This photo doesn’t look too appetizing yet, so click over the Southern Plate and look at her finished photo.

Thursday: You guessed it.

I’ll be leaving for the Titus 2:1 Conference, so my husband can just take the kids to our old standby: Earthfare Kids’ Eat Free night.

Friday: Leftoverpalooza

Whatever is left over from the week is fair game. We should have some good choices.

Saturday: Daddy Date!

I’ll still be at the conference, so the girls can take daddy somewhere special. He is the best dad ever, and he deserves a night out.

Click to comment on Working Mom: How to Make a Weekly Meal Plan - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

Tonight, I pre-made my meals again. This time, I only had about an hour with which to do it, so there are lots of short cuts this week. Let me know what you think of his week’s plan.

Monday: Meatball Sandwiches

This is so easy it’s embarrasing. You need a bag of frozen meatballs (or freshly made, if you have time), a jar of sauce, some small sub rolls or dinner rolls, and mozzarella cheese.  Place the meatballs into a container with a jar of your favorite sauce. Put it in the refrigerator. When you’re ready to eat, heat the meatballs in the microwave or oven. Put them in the rolls, top with mozzarella, bake the sandwiches until the cheese is melted.

Tuesday: Soft Tacos or Taco Salad

The only thing to make ahead here is the taco meat. Then put it in a ziploc bag in the refrigerator. We’ll get out the tortillas (or tortilla chips), cheese, lettuce and home-canned salsa and chow down Tuesday night.

Wednesday: Blackeyed Peas with Rice and Broccoli

I put the blackeyed peas in a large bowl filled with water to soak. Tomorrow night I’ll rinse them and put them in the fridge. Wednesday morning, they go in the crockpot with a ham hock, and we;ll serve them with my husband’s famous chow-chow. (Yes, that’s a real thing)

Thursday: Earthfare Kids Eat Free!

After dance classes, we go straight to Earthfare. Kids eat free with a $5.00 adult purchase. Yes, we go every week. Don’t judge.

 Friday: Grilled Marinated Chicken

The absolute best chicken marinade in the history of the world is Italian Dressing and Soy Sauce. Very simple. I didn’t have any dressing, so I just mixed up balsamic vinegar, olive oil and soy sauce. I put the chicken in the bag still frozen so it would thaw over the next few days. We’ll grill it on Friday.

There you have it. What are you planning for dinners this week?

Click to comment on Make-Ahead Meal Plan - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

I’ve always looked up to Maria Bailey, CEO of BSM Media, author of Mom 3.0 and Power Moms, and more. She has been one of my mentors in being a mom in business as I worked with her on blogging campaigns, live web-shows, conferences, etc.

Maria always cooks on Sundays to prepare the meals for the week ahead. I’ve tried the “once a month cooking” method as well as the weekly technique, and I like both of them. Most of the time, I don’t have an entire day to cook for the month so I try the weekly method.

Here’s my meal plan for this week. I’m pretty proud of the fact that I used ingredients in multiple recipes without making it boring.

Sunday: Panko Crusted Dill Tilapia {click for recipe}

I have time to cook on Sunday, so I make the most labor intensive meal for Sunday night.

Monday: Homemade Pizzas

We prebaked the crust, topped with sauce cheese and toppings, and placed them in the refrigerator. Monday, we just have to stick them in the oven for a couple of minutes. First Pizza Toppings: mini-pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms. Second Pizza Toppings: onions, mushrooms, broccoli, mini-pepperoni

Tuesday: Breakfast Casserole for Dinner

We used the rest of the sausage and mushrooms that we used to top the pizza. Add a bunch of eggs, a little bit of milk and some cheese on top. Put it in the fridge and bake when you’re ready to eat it. 

Wednesday: Crock Pot Barbecue Chicken

I threw half-a Coke can, four chicken breasts, and the onions left over from the pizza toping into a gallon ziploc bag. Wednesday morning, I’ll put it all in the crock pot for 8 hours on low.

Thursday: EarthFare Kids Eat Free!

Friday: Leftoverpalooza

Friday is our “do nothing but eat leftovers and watch movies” night.

————————————————————————————————

Do you have a killer meal plan for a working mom? How do you deal with the rat race of trying to feed the family?

Click to comment on Menu Plan for a Working Mom - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

Sunday is my night to cook because I actually have time to spend in the kitchen before the crazy weekday routines start. So I whipped up this dish – I hope you like it! Let me know what you think and feel free to ask any questions about the preparation.

Click to comment on Panko Crusted Dill Tilapia {Recipe} - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

The school children dropped spare change – and dollars – in the buckets for two weeks. Each time he announced, “The cornrows are catching up to the mohawk,” the kids would scour their pockets and beg their parents for more to add to the mohawk jar.

So,at the end of the two weeks, my husband looked like this:

While the focus of the ordeal was to bless our friend with cancer, we learned many lessons during the two mohawked weeks.

I have to admit that I liked it better than the long hair he’d been growing for 9 months.  You should have seen the first time we walked into our small town Walmart as a family with this hair! Children squealed, people snapped iPhone photos, some smiled widely while others quickly changed aisles.

Going to Church with a Mohawk

Another admission: I was very curious about what it would be like for Judd to show up at church looking like he did.  Sadly, I didn’t get to go that day, but Judd told me all about it. I was blown away by the revelation God had given that morning.

During a prayer time, the elders of the curch went to stand in the front so that people could come up for prayer. One of the elders later told Judd he hadn’t even recognized him from far away, but he’d been eyeing him from afar.

The question that rolled over and over in this elder’s mind was, “How can I make this different-looking person feel welcome here?” I just love that the first thought for one of our elders is how to show God’s grace and welcome someone into the body of Christ.

Next, he said something so profound. Why do we only go out of our way like this for people that look different? Why don’t we immediately start thinking about ways to make mainstream-looking people feel just as grace-covered and welcomed?

It’s been going through my mind since the beginning, and I think God is trying to impress it upon me. (Ya think?) Anyway…

You never know the story someone is holding behind his or her outward appearance.

Nope, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Go out of your way to shower grace and love on the guy with the tattoos all over his head. Smile at the girl with the pierced eyebrows. Shake hands with the guy with the crazy mowhawk. Hug the brown-black-red-yellow-white-skinned person. Pray for that lady with the pretty blonde hair who always looks put-together. Get to know the one you’re jealous of. Did that last one hit a nerve?

But never… never… assume you know the whole story.

There are so many more lessons we learned. I hope to share them here, so I hope you’ll come back.

Tell me, do you have any stories to share?

Click to comment on The Mohawk Diaries: On Making People Feel Welcome - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

I’ve tried many of the free patterns on the internet for American Girl doll hats. They always left something to be desired for me. Either they were really boring, or they fell off every 5 seconds. So I developed my own pattern that is super cute and actually stays on!

This Flowered Cloche for American Girl  can be made with acrylic or cotton yarn. It has an accent color band and flower, and a lightly fluted edge. Perfect for beginners and kids, it’s a quick and easy project.

The hat is listed on Etsy at $3.50. Use coupon code FIRST to get $2.00 off. (expires 3/7/13). You MAY sell your finished products, as long as you give credit and link back to this pattern.

Here are some hats I’ve made, and my super cute children! Let me know if you make the hat and feel free to post a link to your finished hat in the comments.

Click to comment on American Girl Crochet Hat Pattern: Flowered Cloche - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

I passed a church sign a few weeks ago. The message was uplifting and encouraging; they meant well… but I didn’t think it was exactly true. Or was it?

“Jesus will add years to your life, and life to your years.”

It’s a nice Hallmark card, but is it the truth of the Gospel? What about the single mom who has just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer? Will Jesus add years to her life? What about Pastor Youcef Nadarkhani, who spent three years in an Iranian prison for becoming a Christian? Has “life” been added to his years in the sense that we think about it in America? What about the mother who just lost her 4-year-old child in a freak accident?

How about Paul? John the Baptist? Joseph? You?

My pastor just finished preaching a series on Joseph. Remember him? He was sold into slavery by his brothers, and spent years in an Egyptian prison. Paul was imprisoned and killed simply for spreading the Gospel. Paul was plagued with some sort of illness – a “thorn in the flesh” – and he was not healed. And it was the will of God. How can it be the will of a loving God for his servants to be enslaved, imprisoned, sick or murdered?

My mind cannot comprehend it, and the only answer I can give is found in Romans 11: 33-36: For His Glory.

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
“Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
“Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”
For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Many times in our culture, we present the Gospel as a solution to our worldly problems.

We tell unbelievers that if they will just accept Jesus, he will put their lives in perfect order. Is that true? In a way. When I was saved in college, I was on a self-destructive path from which only Jesus could rescue me. Jesus came into my life and saved me from self-destruction. Sin-destruction. Has my life been without hardship since? No. I am not complaining, though. As hard as I think my circumstances are, there are others suffering much worse than I.

There is one difference in my life before and after I knew Jesus: HIM. That’s it. It’s so simple, but it means so much. With Him, I can face life, death, imprisonment, sickness, persecution. (Please don’t test me on all those, Lord) I love this temple He created, so I don’t abuse it with alcohol and drugs. Is that lifestyle bringing “life to my years”? One could argue so. But it’s not always the case.

We are already created as eternal beings.

In Matthew 25: 46, it says that those who do not know Christ will “go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”  Even Jesus doesn’t add years to our lives. Maybe the lifestyles we live add years to our earthly lives, when we avidly try to throw off sin and live for Him. But sadly many lives on earth have been cut short – because of following Christ.  Paul said it best when he said “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21)

Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 16

Perhaps it was my own Western interpretation that led me to doubt the veracity of this statement.

Or perhaps we need to refine our message when presenting the Gospel to those in our comfort-loving American culture. Is our initial presentation one reason many new believers grow disillusioned with the faith?  Is that why some believers feel guilty for not being physically or emotionally healed? It’s not easy to follow Christ. If it were, the way wouldn’t be so narrow. But it is RIGHT. In this culture of “tolerance,” will anyone heed our message if we say, “Follow Jesus because it is right, and the only thing you may get in return is Him”? HE is enough!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Does Jesus add years to our lives on earth? Maybe. Maybe not.

Does Jesus add life to our years? YES! But not the way you might think. In Christ, we have unspeakable joy, peace beyond our understanding, hope for the eternal presence of the Father. He has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us. We can truly rejoice, in the midst of any circumstance.

If you don’t yet know Jesus…

I can’t promise you that your life will be easy, that you will be physically healed, or that you will live longer on the earth. But there is a promise which is much more powerful than that!

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.  For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5: 6-11.

I’m always open to other points of view. What say you?

Click to comment on When Christians Stretch the Truth - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

We had the most amazing party with seven 7-year-olds, two older sisters (9 and 11) and an older friend (11). I’m sharing each aspect of the party in this post, along with original sources, if available.

The Food 

1. Witch Hat Cookies 

I made a few examples of the witch hat cookies, and then let the kids create them as one of our activities. These are amazing kid-friendly snacks; they were easy to make and yummy. I found these on Pinterest and tried to find the original source (Pinterest is not a source). This Witch Hat Cookie tutorial is really great, and she gives you some adorable packaging ideas.

2. Oreo Spiders

First of all, I realize that arachnids have eight legs, not six. So my version in the photo is anatomically incorrect, but they tasted amazing! I originally saw these spiders on top of these Oreo Spider Cupcakes, but we omitted the cupcakes and substituted some ingredients.

We couldn’t find black licorice strings, so we got Twizzlers Cherry “Pull N’ Peel.” For the eyes, we used black squeezable cookie icing and white ball sprinkles. These were also super easy for the kids to make.

3. Witch Fingers in the Candy Bowl

I first saw these cute finger cupcakes, and planned on making them until Little Peas saw a cookie cake she loved. So I just made the fingers and stuck them in the candy bowl.  It was a big hit.

4. Jack-o-lantern Veggie Tray

I loved this veggie Jack-o-lantern using carrots and black olives. Unfortunately, I forgot to get black olives, so I had to improvise. I used ranch dressing containers for the eyes, and apple slice for the nose, and cheese triangles for the mouth.

5. Mummy Dogs

I spotted these Mummy Dogs, and wanted to recreate them. I actually used a refrigerated pie crust instead of crescent rolls. I just thought it would turn out more authentic looking, and I did love it. Apparently, two of them were really zombies masquerading as mummies, and they couldn’t take the heat!

The Games

Making the snack crafts took up quite a bit of time and the kids loved it. We still had time for a few more activities.

1. Pin the face on the Jack-o-Lantern

I made a super simple pumpkin out of white poster board, which the kids painted orange. Then, I cut eyes, nose, mouth and bow (the bow is very important) from black poster board. We created two teams of five. one by one, each blindfolded player would try to place their item on the pumpkin. We laughed at where the facial feature ended up. This picture shows an unfortunate placement of one eye.

2. Costume Parade

After consuming all that sugar, we needed to expend some energy, so we did a “costume parade” up and down the street. They didn’t need any spectators, they had a blast on their own. The kids took turns leading the group, and eventually found their way back inside to open presents.

A good time was had by all.

Do you have any ideas for a Halloween Party? DO share!

Click to comment on A Halloween Party to Scream For - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

Other times, Google’s suggestions defy common sense, and leave me in a puddle of my own laughing tears. The other night, my daughter and I took turns typing in phrases on my phone, just to see what Dr. Google would prescribe.

Apparently, cats are not only popular on Facebook; people all over the globe want to draw them for their BFFs. My kindergarten bus driver used to blast Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is” on his 8-track, but are people really Googling this on a regular basis?

Let’s go to the mall… or prison. Basically the same thing, right?

Apparently dolls are vessels for the dead, and they are uniting against us.

Lastly, I typed in “Pictures of…” and I can’t bring myself to post what came up. I’m curious what comes up on YOUR phone/computer!

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If you want to play along, type in a search and tell me in the comments what came up. You can also post a link to your blog if you post a photo of your search.

Click to comment on Fun With Google Search - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

I created this video to explain why I’m participating in the Moms for Transparency in Labeling Twitter Party on Wednesday, September 12 at 10 p.m. eastern time. Join me, Leah Segedie of Mamavation.com and lots of other moms who are passionate about being able to make an informed decision. Click here to RSVP for the party. Oh… and there are prizes, you enter the giveaway while you’re there!

Tell me what you think of the video. Do you agree with me?

Click to comment on Why I Want Companies to Label GMO (Genetically Modified Food) - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

If you are a tween girl looking for Greyson Chance, move along. 

Have you ever considered unfriending someone on Facebook because of politics? Until yesterday, I hadn’t seriously considered it. Oh, I have hidden people’s updates from my newsfeed, but never severed a relationship there.

I cried when I clicked the “unfriend” button on my friend’s Facebook profile last evening. The venom finally got to a level that I did not feel comfortable allowing into my mind and emotions. Throughout this election year, I’ve struggled constantly. I truly enjoy having friends with a diverse representation of political views, faith, socio-economic levels, ethnic descent, interests and opinions. Someone I have always deeply respected posted a message, cussing and accusing and spewing her hate for a certain candidate, as a culmination of several weeks of heightening rhetoric. It doesn’t matter which candidate it was. It wouldn’t have mattered to me. She invited anyone who was offended to “go ahead and unfriend” her.

Was I offended? 

No. To be offended means that I give over a part of myself- of my serenity. I wasn’t personally offended. I was sad and upset that she felt so angry that she would give up relationships in order to publicly rant like that. People who know me realize that I enjoy a spirited debate on the issues and respect those that can articulate their views, even when they are different from mine. But when someone starts calling candidates a–holes and looks for every little thing that they can take out of context to beat that candidate’s supporters over their heads, I can’t go there with that person. I don’t want to go there. No matter which party the arrows fly toward.  I decided that I would not feel guilty for protecting my space from toxicity.

Do I still consider her a friend?

Yes, of course. I have many Facebook “friends” whom I wouldn’t consider close personal friends. Facebook for me is a community of friends, family, acquaintances, business contacts, colleagues, etc. I also have friends “in real life” with whom I’m not connected on Facebook. {GASP} In fact, some of them are not even ON Facebook. Believe it or not, I still consider them friends. This was not about our fundamental relationship, but about what content I let into my sphere of influence.

What is the real issue here?

This woman is obviously hurting. There is a deep wound which seems to be pricked by her perception of certain politicians, and what they might do if they get in office. It makes her angry and she is honest about it. I don’t fault her for that, and I do pray for that hurt place- for healing. I do fault the political operatives, pundits and news media who use such hyperbole and half-truths to bring people to a fever pitch of fear and frenzy in which nothing matters except destroying the “enemy.” We as a society have lost the ability to debate issues based on logic, and we can no longer trust any news media to present the entire story.

What about you?

How do you make decisions about whom to allow in your sphere of influence? How do you feel about the political climate this year? Do you feel that the veil of technology makes people say and do things that they wouldn’t do in person? Do you post about politics? Do you wish others wouldn’t?

I would not consider unfriending most people on Facebook because of an isolated political rant. Just be very careful when you posts statements like:

• “Unfriend me if you don’t like this.”
• “Anyone who watched Fox News can unfriend me now, because you are an idiot” (Yes, I have seen this in several incarnations from the enlightened ones)”

Click to comment on Unfriend You - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

This was the beginning of my conversation with my 9yo, after I “helped” her by taking the toys and other stuff she couldn’t seem to put away.

Me: “what do you think my job is, as your parent?”
Her: “to take care of me…”
Me: “no, that’s not really my job at all.”
Her: (shocked expression)
Me: “my job is to teach you to take care of yourself.”

Woah…

Click to comment on Love and Logic Conversation #1: “What is a parent’s job?” - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

This is why I love my husband. He doesn’t even flinch when I do this.

Click to comment on He Doesn’t Miss a Beat - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

Sometimes, I forget how small I am… and how big God is. But only until I climb to the top of a mountain and see this.

Click to comment on The Glory of God, from Mount Jefferson NC - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

I followed this crochet hat pattern, called Urban Jungle, by Vickie Howell. I used Caron Simply Soft Yarn with an H-8 hook. 

This hat uses the puff stitch, which is challenging for some.  The key is that when you pull up each loop, hold the yarn loosely and make sure they line up before doing the final step.  It does use a lot of yarn, so make sure you start with a fresh skein.

Here is a view from the back. Instead of working from the top down, you start with the band and work upward and cinch the top together.

What do you think? What is your favorite thing to crochet?

Don’t know how yet? Check out my friend Emily’s How to Crochet Tutorial Videos

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But not that day.

Last week, I found myself in a situation where a sub-group of people in a room was singled out, and valued in a certain way for being skinny.  Now, to be sure, the women in this same sub-group are beautiful, talented, smart, and hard-working.  But that wasn’t what they were being lauded for (at least in the words of the speaker).  No, they were the skinny ones. And the rest were… well, that was not exactly discussed.

It was one of the handful of times in my entire life that I have been utterly embarrassed and shameful of my body. This body which has birthed three beautiful girls, which has carried me through 37 years of life. And happens to have about 25 extra pounds hanging on it.  Oh there have been unflattering photos that showed by booty a little too much, or caught me slouching with a little muffin top goin’ on. But in THAT awkward moment, I wished the floor would open up and swallow me. In that moment, I wanted to run away and not come back. And I sobbed on the way home that night.

I know what your first reaction may be.

“Who would do that?”

“Where?”

“I can’t believe ANYONE would say that.”

But that’s not what this post is about.  In defense of the speaker, I’m sure he/she had no idea how his/her words were coming out of his/her mouth, or how they were being received.  The fact is, it doesn’t matter. In this life we cannot control what another person does.  But we can control our reaction.

And that’s what I’m not sure of. How do I process these feelings of shame? Are they founded? Should I just suck it up and lose weight? Or does this go deeper? Is God allowing that place in my heart to be pricked so that he can work on it?

That first reaction I had — the one that made me want to disappear — that’s not the way to handle this, I know it. I’m too stubborn to give up on anything because of a few extra pounds.

But then… I feel myself going in the other direction…

(Begin dream sequence)

Me and my "thighs" circa 1990

Speaking to myself, I’d say, “Oh, yeah? Well, I can lose weight! Just watch me.”  And then I’d do it, and go too far. I’ve been there before.  My Middle/High School ballet teacher told me to watch my thighs and hips, they were getting bigger, you know.  She was just looking out for me. And at 115 pounds, I began to see myself as fat. And at 15 years old, I would starve myself to drop weight, until I couldn’t take it anymore and then I would break… and secretly eat. It never got bad enough to make me sick. However, the cycle began.

In college, when my boyfriend made an offhand remark about how my legs were getting flabby, and “did I want to work out more?” I took it a little further. I started to get disgusted with myself whenever I would eat. I couldn’t describe it, but the offending calories just had to come back out. And they did. Quite often, for about 6 months.  At that point, God sent a friend who had been through full-fledged bulimia to confront me. Thankfully, shortly after that incident I gave my life over to the Lord and he freed me from  the fulfillment of that particular dysfunction.

I was really proud of myself in 1999 when I got back down to 120. I didn’t realize that I had gone too far, and would have kept going, had I not gotten pregnant with my first child.  God saved me again!

So what do I do now? How do I finally get healthy without eventually becoming unhealthy? What do I do with these feelings of shame? I did the Mamavation 2-week challenge with the fabulous Leah Segedie, and started to feel great. But I always sabotage myself. I’m AFRAID. Ashamed to be heavy, but scared to do anything about it.

I’m praying that God will show me, and I know He will. In the meantime, I’m just hangin’ out, me and my thighs! (ha ha)

Tell me, can you relate?

Click to comment on In Which I’m Embarrassed About My Weight - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

So, I was thinking about how to make an easy football cake. One that even I can bake and decorate. Cake Boss, I am not!  I’m “Real Life,” ya know! The image of my husband’s Dump Cake immediately popped in my mind, along with these equations! (Yes, baking is very mathematical)

COCONUT + Green Food Coloring = Grass! | Grass + White Decorating Icing = Football Field!

So while I’m not the Cake Boss… this cake is easy and cute (I think), and pretty cheap if you get everything on sale. This cake would be perfect for a Football Birthday Party, A Football Team Party, of course watching the game with friends!

Like I said, I’m no Cake Boss, but I whipped this baby up with 10 minutes prep, 45 minutes baking and 10 minutes decorating. Put it in the fridge until you’re ready to serve.  The best part is the taste! If I did it again, I probably wouldn’t include the white coconut border, and I would add white piping to the outside edge as well.

Do you have any cool ideas for a football themed cake, or Super Bowl Party ideas?

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But then, I realized it was something else. As I looked at it, I could hear myself say:

“I know some things that you young women have yet to learn. See those wrinkles between my eyes? I earned those.”

I don’t say that to be snooty, but as an encouragement.

You see, when I was in college, I used to look at the women in their thirties and think they had it all together.  When I got to be their age, married with children, and all “grown up” in the Lord, I might have it all together too.  Then, as I began my thirties… ahem, 7.5 years ago… I wondered why I still felt like a floundering child?

And then, I took this photo. From my phone. In a car on the way to a wedding. And when I looked at it for the first time, I was taken aback. I immediately saw the two squinty wrinkles between my eyes, the uneven skin (BEFORE Instagram), laugh lines beside my mouth, dark circles under my eyes.  And then… “What IS it in those eyes?” I asked myself.  And I couldn’t help but stare at it. It seems vain, I know, to stare at a photo of myself incessantly.

24 hours later, I know what it is. It’s the beginnings of wisdom. Not of my own doing; inside, I am still a floundering child. But through the trials of life, God has begun to let me glimpse His glory, His faithfulness, His love for me.

After 37 years, I realize I will never “have it together” on my own. And I’m OK with that.  I’m just on the other side of one of the most difficult years of my life. Although during the depth of the pain, I didn’t know how I would get through to the other side, God knew. My faith was built. It doesn’t mean I won’t fight depression the next time pain comes. But I’ll know- a little bit more- that God will bring me through.

When I look at that photo, I’m proud of whom I’ve become. Whom God has made me. Of what I’ve accomplished, and what He has accomplished through me.

The next time I flounder, I want to look back at the woman in this photo. She’ll say to me,

“Remember what you know. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. You will be OK.”

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding ; For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding ; If you seek her as silver And search for her as for hidden treasures ; Then you will discern the fear of the LORD And discover the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom ; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2: 1-7

Click to comment on At first I thought I looked old in this photo… - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

What do you think the hottest toy will be this year? Do you shop on Black Friday?

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This truth has been made real to me, as I’ve watched two of my friends, and my mother-in-law go through treatment for this horrible disease.  It’s important to raise awareness, to know your risk, and to take precautions to detect it early.

I don’t mind the “Pink” campaigns that happen in October each year. In fact I think it’s a brilliant way to raise awareness and get people thinking about Breast Cancer prevention. Many of the Breast Cancer research organizations have facilitated huge strides in detection and treatment. So I want to support them.

So while I don’t mind the media and corporate attention to “Think Pink” campaigns, it’s important that we don’t mindlessly follow the pink pied piper. The key word is think. We have to know what we’re giving to and find ways to truly make a difference in lives.that we’re making a difference.

So what?

Well, this week, I’m teaming up with two of my favorite people in the whole world, Teri Lyne Underwood and Brooke McGlothlin to express why I AM PINK :

Monday:  {I Am Pink} introductions here, at Brooke’s, and at Terri Lynne’s. (Go read theirs)

Tuesday:  Teri Lynne writes her perspective.

Wednesday:  Brooke writes her perspective.

Thursday: I write about why I am pink.

Friday:  {I Am Pink} Linky hosted by Brooke.  Share your {I Am Pink} message with us!

I painted my fingernails and toenails pink, and I’ll tell you why in my post on Thursday

Join us

Will you listen to why we are pink this week? Will you write your own and link up on Friday? Will you paint your finders and toes (just because it’s fun)?

You can also tweet with the hashtag #iampink, and find us on Twitter at @reallifesarah @terilynneu @brookewrites

Click to comment on The Heart and Soul of Breast Cancer Awareness: I Am Pink - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

Once challenge that faced me AT work, was setting up and decorating my cubicle.  My new boss, when he interviewed me, asked how I would adapt to “cube life.”  He was understandably surprised when I said I was EXCITED about having a cube! Think of it– a place completely dedicated to work, where there is no laundry or dishes, where no children will put their toys on the desk, and a chair that… ahem… won’t serve as a clothes line in my room.  I can leave my work stuff in my cube, and I don’t have to clear it off the table so that a family can eat dinner there. #WIN

I really crave a clean, organized, uncluttered space at work.  But at the same time, I do want some evidence of a personal life. I want to feel connected to my family, and show them off to my coworkers.

I can’t choose just one photo of the family! They all have such diverse personalities, it’s just impossible.  So I wanted a wide representation of the kids, family and friends without clutter.

Solution

AT&T sent me the Pandigital Photo Mail Digital Frame for me to review, and let everyone know what I thought about it.

I absolutely loved this frame! Sometimes, companies will promise that products are “easy” or “plug and play,” and then you spend 2 hours setting it up.  Not this time! It was so easy to set it up, add photos, email photos, and set timers. Its very user friendly, good quality, and nice looking.

I constantly have coworkers stopping by my desk to look at the photos, and comment about how cool the frame is. And, hundreds of photos can be displayed with no clutter! Double win!

They say:

No WiFi. No Setup. No Problem.

Requiring no cables, no PC, and no complex WiFi setup, the Photo Mail Frame connects automatically to the AT&T Wireless network and is ready to receive your photos right out of the box. Simply Plug In, Turn On and Enjoy!

I say: They’re right! I love that I don’t have to set up a wireless network.  I can bring the frame between home and work, and I don’t have to change the network. The photos are sent through the AT&T wireless network.

They say:

The Perfect Gift.

Give a Pandigital Photo Mail Digital Photo Frame to a friend or family member, and you can share life as it happens. Easily send photos directly to their Photo Mail Frame from your cellphone camera or through email – and a note will pop up right on their frame, letting them know that new pictures have arrived.  It really is that easy.

I say: They’re right! This frame would be perfect for a working mom or dad, grandparents, and just about anyone, really.  I would load some great photos of the kids, repackage the frame, and give it to the grandparents for Christmas! Then, I can update the frame anytime via email to keep them up to date.  It’s awesome, really.

They say:

Keep the fun going with additional Photo Mail Download Packages.

I say: This is the only feature that I would say is a concern before you buy.  You need to understand that there is a limited number of emails you can send to the frame for free. You then purchase additional Photo Mail Download Packages: 100, 400, or 700 photo emails. It makes sense, since it does use the AT&T network, but at least be aware of it.

Do you work outside the home? What is your workspace like? Do you have lots of pictures of your family there?

Click to comment on Working Moms: Email Photos to Your Desk! - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life

Several months ago, my husband and I got some news that was potentially devastating. My sweet mother-in-law told us that she had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Of course, the worst case scenario went through our minds, and I’m sure that she was terrified.  It’s hard living in the mountains, clear across the state, when a family member goes through something like this, and we were dealing with our own mountain that we needed God to move.

I just didn’t know what I could do for my mother-in law, until I got an email from Hanes Pink, letting me know about a t-shirt design contest to raise awareness and funds.  I always check out charities and organizations before donating, and I was pleased to support the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

So I designed this t-shirt for Hanes Pink, in honor of my mother-in-law.  She was so excited, and it was a small gesture I could do to show her that I was thinking of her.

Results

I WON the contest, my mother-in-law came through her treatments with flying colors, and thankfully, did not have to go through chemo.  With this happy ending, I can’t help but think of those who are still in the midst of fighting.  A few years ago I watched a 30-year-old friend battle Breast Cancer, and recent’y, another young mom friend has been diagnose. Progress has been made, but there is still so much to do until we understand… and STOP this disease.

Watch the video to see my t-shirt and what I did with my prize from Hanes!

What Can You Do?

Purchase from the Hanes Pink Collection:

Hanes is proud to offer a special Hanes Pink Collection of graphic tees that allow women everywhere to wear and share messages of inspiration to raise awareness for breast cancer. These tees are CUTE!

Design our own t-shirt:

For the more creative set, Hanes created a “Design-A-Tee” at www.HanesPink.com where you can design your own tee and purchase it (or others in the user-submission gallery). Hanes donates 10% of the retail price from these tees to the National Breast Cancer Foundation Inc.

Send a message or virtual care package through Facebook:

Hanes has launched their Pink tab on the Hanes Facebook page where you can send customizable Comfort Packages to bring much-needed comfort to loved ones.  Hanes will donate up to $25,000 to NBCF for messages and packages sent from their Facebook Page.

Since 2009, Hanes has made cash and in-kind donations totaling $1,000,000 towards breast cancer research efforts. This year alone, Hanes will donate $125,000 to the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF).

How do you support Breast Cancer Research and those who’ve been diagnosed with this devastating disease?

Click to comment on Hanes Pink & Breast Cancer Research: “Been There, Got the T-Shirt” - a post from: An NC Mom Blog | Real Life