He Has Not Given Me a Spirit of Fear

I recently had to leave my family for a business trip. I travel fairly often, about once every 2-3 months, and everything is usually fine.  I’m happy to have some uninterrupted work time and networking with colleagues and friends.  My kids have some daddy-time, which they LOVE.  And my husband really supports my work, so he doesn’t mind when I go for a few days.  It’s usually all hunky dory.

Woman AfraidBut this time, it was different. As I was saying goodbye, hugging and kissing my girls, I found myself looking over every inch of their faces.  I had this uncanny urge to grab them and not ever let go.  I had an intense feeling of fear that something would happen to them or me.

As I pulled away from the house, tears filled my eyes and overflowed down my cheeks. This has never happened before.  I am a vigorous supporter of obeying my intuition.  I feel like God gave us intuition naturally, as well as supernatural discernment; it is a gift from Him.  This intuition/ discernment saved my life once, and it has served me well in avoiding shady people and business deals.  God also sometimes shows me people and situations to pray for with these intense feelings.

“What is this, Lord? Are you trying to tell me something?  Should I not go? Are you preparing me for tragedy?”

My heart was pounding and my breath was short.  And I heard His voice so clearly in my mind.

“For I (God) have not given you the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

When the Lord speaks, it causes a deep conviction in my heart and mind.  A certainty that I know something, or that I need to do something, or pray about something.  He brings a compelling knowledge that I could not have had without Him.

But he does not bring FEAR.

If I am afraid, panic stricken, or paralyzed by dread, that is not the Lord’s voice..  As soon as I accepted this premise, the dreaded feeling subsided.

Does that mean something bad won’t happen? Not necessarily.  But it means I am trusting the Lord for the future.  I and my family are in His hands, even if something bad happens.  God is teaching me through situations like this (and through counseling) that I do not do well when I feel powerless.  However, HE has given me power through Jesus’ sacrifice and the Holy Spirit working in me.

Have you ever had a feeling like this? What was it like? How did you deal with it?

About Sarah Pinnix

I'm a mom, blogger, vlogger, libertarian. I love Jesus, and my husband, too. Social Media Strategist for a Non-Profit (All statements here are solely my own)

Comments

  1. I have this fear every time I leave my family…. it has been a persistent theme in my life… we’ve talked about this before. That paralyzing fear as you see your child waving good-bye…

    This is beautiful, however….and reminds me of how much I love you and miss you and wish I could hug you.

    You write wonderfully, think soundly, and your heart is amazing, true and strong. I am a much better (and often, calmer)person for having you in my life.

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  2. Cynthia W.
    Twitter: Ridgekeeper
    says:

    I faced a similar fear when my son left for a road trip with his best friend. They were both 18, new high school grads, and they planned to travel the US, and be gone for over one month. As they drove away something was not right and I wanted so badly for them to turn around and come back.

    So I did the one thing that has kept me strong. I prayed and I prayed. I prayed every night for their safety and well being. I would do this anyway, but I did this with such determination.

    Midway through their trip, they had a planned skydiving tandem jump. They each had a very experienced skydiver that they were strapped to for this popular way to experience skydiving. My son’s jump started out well and they jumped at 11,000 feet, out of a plane and into the sky. Then the guide pulled the chute and something went horribly wrong. They went into a violent spin and my son lost consciousness. The guide had to deploy a reserve chute and as they drifted downward, my son finally regained consciousness, but he was vomiting relentlessly.

    He had called me to let me know that he was getting ready to do his jump, and then I did not hear anything for hours. I knew something was wrong and I was almost sick with terror, but I kept praying. When I did hear from his best friend, my son was being checked out in a hospital. At last I got to hear my son’s voice and I knew he would be OK. In 48 hours he was fine.

    My gut feelings were preparing me for what was to come, and praying without ceasing helped me to be strong. God was getting me ready, and He helped me to handle the situation when I was so many miles away.

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  3. Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)
    Twitter: 5minutesformom
    says:

    I often have to fight such feelings when I travel. I try to remind myself that driving to the airport is more dangerous than the flight and most people have to commute to work daily.

    I haven’t traveled much this last year (Jan’s been doing it all) and I’m leaving for a flight next week and I wonder if I’ll feel nervous about it. My girls will be with their Dad and will be fine of course, but I think it’s the flying/airport thing that makes me a little nervous.

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  4. I think as moms we all feel this way at some point in time. It really is hard to let go sometimes! What I have to do is remind myself that God really is in control and that it is totally out of my hands. Such an encouraging verse to remember that he did not give us a spirit of fear! Thanks for this!

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  5. Chele
    Twitter: CheleChestnut
    says:

    You are beautiful my friend! I have this fear creep in whenever I travel with or without the family. I need to remember the scripture above. Thank you! xoxo

    [Reply]

  6. This is such great timing. As you know I am starting down the barrel of my 2nd birth which will hopefully be a VBAC. My friend shared her mantra with me that “the opposite of fear is faith” and I have permanently engraved it in my brain. You are right, remembering that simple truth makes all the difference in how we deal with fear.

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  7. I think we as moms experience this more and more. Especially in the days we are living in. BUT God! That’s something I say to myself and others on a regular basis…But God! Fear? But God said I have power, love and a sound mind. Anxiety? But God…He said I can have peace that passes understanding.

    You are not alone my friend…But God…

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  8. I have battled with this same fear. I remember one time in college I had a panic attack driving down the road because I was supposed to leave for a long road trip the next day. I really thought I was going to die. Of course, I’m still here and it was just the enemy attacking. How thankful I am to have a great God that is our protector. Everything that happens, Everything is in his hands. Thanks for this reminder that God has not given us a spirit of fear. Blessings sweet friend. Thanks for this quiet reminder of God’s grace.

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    Sarah
    Twitter: reallifesarah
    Reply:

    It’s crazy how intense fear can overtake us sometimes!! I can’t imagine living this life without God’s grace!

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  9. This post just made me cry. I experience this sometimes and it tears me apart. Now that I have that verse in my mind, I feel as if I will have a bit more peace. Thank you!

    [Reply]

    Sarah
    Twitter: reallifesarah
    Reply:

    That’s so great, Jennifer! Not that I made you cry, but that you have some encouragement! 🙂 That was the worst feeling I have had in a long time!

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  10. Bonita
    Twitter: bonitalillie
    says:

    Sarah, this is so freeing. I’ve never thought of it in these terms before. God never gives fear. What a revelation! But it’s so true. He does give guidance and conviction, but never fear. This is one of those nuggets I will carry with me from now on. Thanks!

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    Real Life Sarah
    Twitter: reallifesarah
    Reply:

    I am so glad God spoke to you through it! It was such a turning point in how I look at things, too

    [Reply]

  11. I had convinced myself that I should not get on the plane to go to Blogher, I was that wound up! Never knock the power of prayer!

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