To Dance, Perchance To Weep

I love watching “So You Think You Can Dance,” mainly because I grew up in a dance studio. Literally, my friends used to call me there to chat! Anyway, I am routinely spellbound with the insightful choreography and interpretation of the dancers.

This time was different. During the dance I could feel the tears welling up inside, and my heart literally aching. This art form was touching a place so emotionally deep as only art can do. I wept for a solid five minutes after watching it, and prayed for those captive hearts who dance this routine every day.

The subject matter is addiction. If you have kids with you, you may want to wait till later to watch the following video. It’s not terribly risque, but there are a few moments you might not want young kids to see.

I have personal experience with addiction, although the only thing I have ever been addicted to is Diet Coca-Cola (or Coke Zero as the case may be!) I have seen many lives destroyed, directly or indirectly, and several lives ended by chemical dependence. Friends, children of friends, and others, giving their lives away and unable to escape.

I realize that people who end up addicted are seeking to fill an empty chasm inside their hearts. When we fill this chasm with things other than healing from our Maker, it never truly heels, and in some cases, envelops our very being into a deep darkness which will not be quenched.

As I watch this dance, I see the agony of being trapped, when you thought you’d get relief. Enslaved, when you thought you’d be helped. A life of misery, when you were just out for fun. And my heart breaks.

Each Sunday, as I go to worship God with others at church, I am struck when I look around the room, with a sense of awe. I look at my own early life, fraught with self-destructive behavior- until my Redeemer came for me. A group of men whom I know have been set free from addiction- and some still struggling with it. Teens who are resisting the enticement of the party-time culture. A wife who is the victim of her husbands pornography addiction- as our culture tells her it’s normal.

But these people are not that different from you and me. We need Jesus. Whether our lifestyles are visibly hurting us or just rotting on the inside, we cannot be pure on our own. Every now and then I try, with the same result, crying out to God to forgive me.

I once resembled the girl in this dance, but in my version there was a third dancer. The ultimate Savior, who threw aside the villain and swept me off that stage. Every now and then, I’m tempted to go back. But I don’t.

Which stage are you on? Will you stay?

In contrast to the dance, this is a song we sang Sunday giving you hope that He can bring you “Out of Ashes” I wish I could find Travis Cottrell actually singing it, because he does it absolutely exquisitely!

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About Sarah Pinnix

I'm a mom, blogger, vlogger, libertarian. I love Jesus, and my husband, too. Social Media Strategist for a Non-Profit (All statements here are solely my own)


  1. Saph @ Walk With Me says:

    Awesome post!! 🙂 Jesus is the only one that can do the impossible – speaking from personal experience.


  2. VanderbiltWife says:

    Sarah, thanks for posting the Out of Ashes video. When Lifeway released the 3:16 Musical, the LW Choir sang several selections in our chapel service. We sang that one. By the end of the service, there was a standing ovation–for Christ. I bawled. Max Lucado and Travis were both there. I wish it was on video.

    Anyway, thanks. Beautiful thoughts.


  3. Dr. Mommy says:

    Incredible post!!

    The dance was incredible and I too was weeping like a child 🙁

    I could see the pain in the dancer's eyes as he tried to keep his composure since he too was recovering from addiction.

    Addiction is a difficult thing, and thankfully I am not truly addicted to anything but perhaps my computer, lol !!

    But with Jesus on our side, we can overcome anything!


  4. Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect says:

    I cried when I watched that dance, too, Sarah. I've seen addiction ruin and end lives of my family and friends, and though it's a different type of struggle, I fight against my own demons. But like you, I have a third person in my battle: Jesus.

    On a much lighter note, I'm actually watching SYTYCD right now and just saw a commercial for a new version of Fame – how about that?!


  5. Jeannie says:

    Great post. I lead a women's issues group at my church, so what you wrote really resonated with things I'm dealing with, both personally (my addiction is sweets) and with others.


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