Woman to Woman – Keeping the Marriage Alive
July 10, 2007 by Sarah
Filed under Read These!
Tips and Tricks – Keeping your marriage alive: Whether you’ve been married for 38 years, 8 years or are a newlywed, you’ve probably picked up a few keys to a happy marriage, one which is nurturing and continues to grow. Maybe your marriage has struggled, but you’ve found a road back to each other and have insights to offer those in a similar situation.
What would you say are the three most key elements in your marriage that keep the romance alive and the heart aflutter?”
Determine each other’s love language. In the book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines the primary ways we give and receive love. They are:
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- receiving gifts
- physical touch
- acts of service
Hubby and my differing love languages affected us tremendously in the beginning, and we didn’t even realize it. One of his primary love languages is acts of service. However, mine is quality time. He was showing me love by working all the time on the house, the lawn, his second job to provide money for the family. The problem was, I was not receiving it, because all I wanted was for him to be with me. In fact, I thought he was avoiding me and felt rejected. Simply understanding our differences changed so much inside us. We were able to give love in the way the other would receive it, and understand the unique ways the other was loving us.
Take the quiz here.
Take a lesson from NIKE, know what I mean? Ah, the dreaded s-word, which can cause so much tension in a marriage. As a woman, I will never truly understand what sex means to a man, and why it is such a big deal. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but I think it is uniquely tied to a man’s sense of connection with his wife. For this reason, sometimes, you have to “just do it,” whether you are inspired or not. This especially applies in the baby and toddler years, when you feel like a milk factory and he’s starving for the attention you must divide with the kids. For the wife, the benefits of sex extend beyond the bedroom. I’ve noticed that if I take the time to connect with my husband in the way he needs it, he will go the extra mile to make me feel loved. Who doesn’t need the dishes done or love an extra backrub, or better yet, a night out without the kids?
Have fun on purpose! You can’t rely on the spontaneous fun that just happens, although that is great, too. You have to plan things that you will enjoy together, with the kids and without. We have had many issues that have been worked out by a night of belly laughing!
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I agree that a good marriage has a physical component as well as an emotional component! That’s a cute picture of you two.
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These are really good keys for a successful marriage relationship. And I like the heart leaf. Very cute.
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These are all great tips!
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;o]
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I think my husbands love language has been acts of service too! I’m off to read that quiz..
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Very good stuff!
Do come back and read our journey with our daughter and anorexia – hard times. And then we went on to drug addiction with our son – HARD times! But we survived, and so did they. I am so sorry about your mom, and would love to talk to you about that time in your life and hers. Very sad.
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I’m excited to take that quiz with my husband! Thanks for the link!
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“Have fun on purpose”
I love that! Great picture too!
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Thanks for linking to the love languages quiz. I’ve heard so much about the love languages book but didn’t know the quiz was online!
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I’ve taken the love language test before and both my husband and I were surprised by our results. It sure made a difference knowing what each of us expected but just didn’t realize.
Great tips!
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My love language isn’t on the list. I call it: “God help me, she doesn’t know I’m an idiot.”
The best is when “Making Time For Fun on Purpose” and “Just Doing It” happen at the same time.
Did I just say that?
I would add that a sense of humor is important. My wife has survived me thus far by learning to laugh at me. At least, I’m always telling her, “You’ll laugh about this later. Right? Honey? Where are you going? Honey, put down the knife.”
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I wonder if you realize how inspiring, insightful your posts are to me?! I did giggle at “just do it”, and love the photo of you and your husband…priceless.
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Ben, Judd and I had a huge laugh at your comment! I’ve already put in my vote for Heather as Wife of the Year!
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lol. Just last night, Kevin was inspired by Nike: He looked at me and said, “I need servicing.” :0
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Oh, I love that pic of you guys laughing! So wonderful. It’s so true, we get caught up in the day to day and forget to laugh and play with each other.
So cool that you linked the quiz for the Five Love Languages. We love that book too!
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What a fabulous post! Thanks for sharing!
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Your post was very inspiring with much wisdom. Thanks for sharing with us today.
Angela
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